Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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