we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
