take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you win again, gameday.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
