just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
