I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
