And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
COCAINE IS GR8
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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