? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
