garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
