I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
