I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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