I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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