Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wanna passion pit in your ass
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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