He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
