that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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