Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
