Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
