i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We're too hungover to prance.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
