Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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