Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize