dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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