Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
