A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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