You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
