There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I AM VODKA MAN
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
