I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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