hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
