yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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