I'm gonna have a badass scar
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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