I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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