batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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