Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
