She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize