It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
