Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
