Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
FUCK WHALES
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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