Screwed.edu
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize