sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
