the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize