I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
