I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
