not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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