idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
