I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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