How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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