I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
