yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize