talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
