I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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