Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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