After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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