There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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