She's JV to your varsity
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
it was like eating out sand paper
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
