the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
