dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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