Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Drunk is a universal language darling
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
