just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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