sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
