halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
