operation have a gay friend backfired
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
