I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
