hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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