Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
