How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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