nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
