I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize