Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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