I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize