if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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