the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
All I want is dick and wine.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
