gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
