Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
