this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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