you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
