...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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