HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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