That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
