I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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