i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
