I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
