i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
