I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
